It sucks being in a different country fighting in a war that means nothing to you besides protecting the guys to your left and right. When the problems you do care about are back home. Knowing you cant do anything about it because your to far away and knowing you cant really do much but sit around and wait till you come back home. I hate that feeling and because of me being here it ruined something good i had and there was not one thing i was able to do about it besides sit there and watch it happen. As much as i wanna do something and wish i was able to change the outcome i dont think there will be a chance at all at changing what happened and fixing it to how it used to be. I think about it every day and it distracts me alot. but i guess it is what it is and i just have to get back to reality that there is absolutely nothing i can do about it.
you ever get that feeling when you know there lying especially when you hear from alot of other people its true. But they say its not true. But then even though u heard it from other people that knows them as well and has no reason to lie to you, you still sit there and question if its true or not or try to come up with a excuse in your head that its prob not true and there really telling you the truth. But at the same time every explanation or excuse you think of just wears off after every time you see evidence that its most definitely true what everyone’s telling you.
You know you lost your mind when your platoon is defending and watching over an area on a hill and start getting mortared like crazy. As soon as the first one hits you guys run to cover and all start laughing and just start bull shitting with eachother the whole time rounds are flying and blowing up all around you.
just trying to make it back home. just have to be on my guard for another 4 more months and im home free.
soldiers always deploy its part of there job. What no one knows is that as we go off and sacrifice our lifes so everyone else can live without fear, we come home to a totally different life when its our time to return from war. We go through and suffer ptsd, loss of friends and brothers, we see things that we wish no one would ever have to see. Yet we come home more worried and wishing we never came back to the world we once used to love and thought about every day praying and just hoping time would go faster so we can be back. We come back to a totally different world. Wives leave us due to cheating, our girlfriends cheat and find someone else. All we find out is the world we left behind, the world we kept in touch with and though everything was okay really wasnt. It was all a lie. We come back in such bad shape that when we find out about our life in the states we lose it even more. Some go crazy some take there lives. Alot of us try to just find a way to deal with it. We talk about how the lucky ones are the ones who die on the battlefield with honor. Just for the fact that they dont have to go through and find out things arent how they were and dont have to go through the pain of finding out the truth. The pain of finding out there wife or girlfriend back home left them or has been cheating on them. We fight for our country most of all we fight for our brothers standing to the left and right of them. Not all of us come back, but the ones that due go through the worst pain of all. The pain of everything hes gone through and seen and lost and most of all of what he will find out when he comes back home. Alot of people call us heroes when we come back home but if we were heroes then we would have never lost a single brother out there. Neither would we have lost our lifes the ones who make us smile, happy and the ones who motivate us to make sure we come home safely.
So i decided to test out my plates for my body armor and thats one thing ill never test out again in my life!!! it hurts like a mother F’er. But getting shot sucks… especially when you black out an not know were u are
Just landed in kuwait yday. Now have the word that were flying out to afghanistan tomorrow and then no more internet or anything!!! what am i supposed to do lol no more fb n tumblr!!!!! Only good thing about deploying is the coming home part.
Todays the day i fly to afghanistan…… On top of that the girl im talking to really didnt even care at all that i was leaving. Or was just mad at me pretty much for the fights we have been getting to since we found out i was deploying
Im stuck….. Not really happy no more and at the same time starting to feel that depressed feeling again. So far away from friends and family its hard to feel like i belong somewhere. The thing that made me happy doesnt really make me happy no more…. Its not that it doesnt its just that iono if its happy or wants me no more. i thought i would go into this journey happy and knowing what i want. But now it seems like im heading there with my head all scattered and out of place. Not motivated and yet what i though i had a reason to make sure i come back. I cant really take into consideration anymore since things have changed dramatically. Honestly dont know what she really wants anymore. At first everything was way to good to be true! N i guess it shows now that it might just be true. But iono. I know ever since i found out im leaving things and my head started going off and ive been acting different without my notice. But i guess if it is to good to be true then i guess it is what it is. Im hoping dor the best but with my luck itll turn out bad like usual.
